Saturday, July 4, 2009

Superpatriotic Holiday Edition

It's the fourth of July, and like probably every other comics blogger, I'm celebrating a very special superhero on this day... someone who's served his country his entire life, who is the very embodiment of the patriotic spirit... a man who BLEEDS red, white, and blue:

I am talking, of course, about Captain John Walker: US AGENT
Oh yes.

Ah, US Agent, the only avenger whose dickishness dwarfs even Tony Stark's.

Seriously... this guys' a real pieceawork, but, whatever you say about US Agent, you cannot deny that the man is a TRUE PATRIOT.

And also, a TRUE BADASS.
But I could go on about Walker's faults all day, and probably into the next, but, beyond the utterly punchable face and slavish devotion to his government (up to, and including, secretary of state Red Skull,) US Agent has a great many awesome qualities that, on this day of American Patriotism, I find it incumbent upon me to celebrate.

John Walker's a family man, dontchaknow, and he takes a photo of his late parents with him into battle, where it's pasted on the back of his shield, so he is always reminded of what he's fighting for whenever he uses it. His shield is further inscribed with the names of men who have fallen in service to their country. He will then use this shield to MESS YOU UP.


Oh yeah, US Agent brings the pain, and does so FOR AMERICA.


He does it FOR JUSTICE.


And for AMERICAN DECENCY.
Because John Walker does not care who you are, but he will uphold the ideals of Truth, Justice, and the American Way ALL UP IN YOUR FACE. He does not need to be LIKED, or ACCEPTED... he merely IS. He is all that is patriotic and American and he makes NO APOLOGIES.
So you can go and read your stories about that pacifistic liberal, Steve Rogers, or his whiny little brat, Bucky... but in the hearts of all TRUE PATRIOTS, there is only ONE THING to say when you see this man:

AMERICA: FUCK YEAH!

No comments: