Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Damn you internetssss! (Part I)

Unfortunately, my internet went out on Sunday, causing me to have a break in my posting schedule much earlier than I had thought! In addition, we discovered a lovely leak in our basement, and I had to spend my time scrubbing mold off of my childhood treasures, instead of trying to fix my computer. I believe this to be part of a greater conspiracy by the internet to keep me offline. Hence the title.

In any case, this meant the delay of my first post of "How to Treat a Woman (the Marvel Way)" a mostly hilarious and sometimes wrong collection of panels from comics where our favorite superheroes teach us how to treat a lady. Lets start this thing!


Naturally we start off with the paragon of brotherly love, Quicksilver. Damn, words fail me.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Lolpanther!

Spent some time today reading over the recent issues of Fantastic Four and Black Panther, especially the ones with the zombies and teleporting frogs. Pure genius on so many levels.

Too tired to write an actual opinion piece on it, so instead have a picture of Storm's soul getting licked by a panthergod

Friday, July 27, 2007

Friday Night Fight!

Bahlactus has spoken!

In the red corner... perennial unloved underdog and wife-beater: HANK PYM aka YELLOWJACKET!

In the blue corner... A NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL!

FIGHT!


Winner? the reader.

Panel taken from Avengers 217. A cookie goes to whoever guesses who the girl here is... no peeking!


Hee hee, participating in these things was totally one of the reasons I started a blog in the first place!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

History of a comic geek

My intention was to start the blog with a brief history of how I came to be a comic geek, and what I like about comics, all that jazz, but laziness and distraction got in the way. Anywho, better a couple days late than never, and it's time for a trip down memory lane. Granted, it's quite a short trip. Especially considering that most comics bloggers have been fans since childhood, I'm quite the newcomer to the party, though I'm no less obsessive than those who preceded me.

I don't know what kept me from being a comics fan when I was young.
It certainly wasn't from lack of interest... I adored the batman cartoon, and also watched the x-men and spider man cartoons regularly. I also have a confession to make. I loved the Batman and Robin movie. Ack! now the internets shall shun me! But I refuse to be too ashamed of it, as Chris O'Donnell is super-hott, and therefore my mad crush on him can be responsible for my lack of good movie sense.
It also wasn't that I didn't have access to comics; my brother collected the Donald Duck comics, and got them from the same rack at our grocery store as held all the other normal comics.

For whatever reason, it wasn't until the second X-men movie that I actually bought my first real comic book. And thusly I almost stopped being a fan before I ever was one. Behold, my first, completely uninformed purchase of a single issue comic magazine!
New X-men 143.
Upon reading this comic I found myself confused and not at all intruigued by the series. There were only two characters i could at all recognize, and many others I had no idea who they were. (Later I would find out that no one knew who they were, they were just no-name fill in people, and no one really understood Phantomex anyway) Also, I had no idea what the plot was or what was going on. Need I make a list of where I went wrong? Well, the first bit is barely visible in the bottom right corner of the magazine there - I had picked up number two in a four issue arc. Of course I was confused... wait... scratch that, because upon going back later with a general idea of what was going on in the series, number one in that arc made little more sense to me. (That would be the issue with cyclops and wolverine in a hellfire bar being drunken fools.)

Anyway, even upon later re-reading, this comic is absolute crap, and so it is lucky for me that I also picked up two graphic novels at the same time. I picked up Authority: Transfer of Power upon the recommendation of an online friend, and on a whim i grabbed Essential X-Men Vol. 1, which is what I would say made me the comic fiend that I am today.

I'll be sure to do a review type thing of authority at a later date, so let me wax poetic about Essential X-Men for a while here. Vol. 1 covers the Uncanny series from the advent of the All-New All-Different team to the first Shadow King story. It's crammed with the very best of the X-Men stories, including the beginning of the Phoenix saga, the only good Savage Land story ever told, The Shi'ar, back when they were cool, a special guest appearance from Misty Knight and the Heroes for Hire, and the most ass-kickin' of opponents: Moses Magnum! So awesome, so very awesome. The stories are perfect examples of what made Claremont the X-Men writer, and the art is just solid all the way through -- look here for the definitive versions of Storm and Nightcrawler as drawn by the late, great, Dave Cockrum. Is so pretty! It does, however, remind me of the one drawback of the essential series, which is that the reprints are in black and white (which lead to my total confusion on the subject of telling Jean Grey and Lorna Dane apart.) I've heard tons of people rip on the Essentials for that, but honestly, I would never have picked it up with the costly price tag that a full-color edition would have cost, and you get a whole lot of story with all the issues they can cram into each of the essential books.

So there's my very start into the world of comics... thrilling, ain't it? Ahhhh, memories...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Beetle Bailey brings out the feminist in me

Damn, feminism already.

For the record, I am so not a feminist. Either that or I'm one of those bizarro-feminists who are all about being empowered by our EZ bake ovens and pole dancing. I love my comics and I love them girly! I reserve the right to buy every wedding special, every first kiss issue, every all-girl superteam, and every Marvel Ai ever published. I have the cover for the Black Canary wedding planner set as my computer background. For the record, I'm on the wait list for the Mary Jane comiquette that had everyone in a tizzy a while back. I'll probably wax poetic about that statue at a later date, but today is for outrage!

Today's outrage is not directed at comic books, but at comic strips - specifically today's Beetle Bailey:


For those of you unfamiliar with the strip, Beetle's about the wacky hi-jinx that ensue when a really lazy guy spends three decades in boot camp. The lady shown here in her negligee is Miss Buxley, the *ahem* buxom secretary of cranky ol' General Halftrack.

Honestly, you could write a women's studies term paper on the representation of female military personell as represented in this strip. But I really am so not feeling the term paper right now. Instead I'll just present you with some perplexing questions:

Why in the world is Buxley waiting for the repairman in black lacy panties? Is she planning to shoot a porno? Or is there some subtle implication that she's skivving off work so she can hang around in her skivvies? And what in the world does this punchline mean? Does it sound more than vaguely dirty to anyone else? Is the general telling us that he's both incontinent and unmanned? Why can't I come up with any plausible explanation for his statements that don't involve his old-man junk? Why must Beetle Bailey make me even THINK about old-man junk?

Ugh, why can't he just go back to hitting on his secretary and neglecting his wife?

for bonus points: discuss Buxley's inability to remember the word "radiator"

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lets kick off this bandwagon!

Alas, I have finally given into the urge to start my own comics blog, adding to the scores of others that infest this web space. Birthed by the need to share my obsessive ramblings with someone, anyone, who feels the same, I bring you Lovers and Zombies! The name comes from the title of Vision and the Scarlet Witch v2 #1, and accurately describes most of what my ramblings will be about. I'm a sucker for love stories, being the girly-girl that I am, and am also quite obsessed with those paragons of the horror world; ZOMBIES. I'm also a sucker for any story with Vision and/or Wanda in it, which means I have tons of time for blogging before either of them comes back to the Avengers, *sob*.
Oh dear, I have been overcome with emotions. Vision, could you sum up the theme of this blog in a single word for me?


... Couldn't have put it better myself.