New Year; New/Old Blog!

It's obviously been a long time since I posted to this blog, and for that I apologize to you, my theoretical readership. However, in the New Year I have decided to give this blogspace the attention it deserves, and hopefully post regularly. I have missed both posting in this blog, and also keeping up with other comics blogs, and so the New Year resolution time has given me the opportunity to start afresh.

For you in this new year:

• More "Lolheroes"


• More out-of-context wednesdays


• Hilarious scans for your enjoyment and horror


• Girly comments on comics romance


• Not-so-girly comments on ultimate kickassery


• Reviews and reccomendations & other respectable comic blogger things


• Rants & ravings & other disrespectable blogger things


• And, of course, the 'Cracktionary' shall be joining us. For that you must wait with bated breath.

Friday Night Fight! Times Three!

Best sound effect ever? I'd say this probably makes the top ten at least.
From Vision and the Scarlet Witch v2 #8:

there is absolutely no reason why this story is called "Sweet Sister." But that is by no means the most messed up thing about it. Short plot summary? Luke Cage is attacked by tiny demon man on the eve of that "new holiday," Martin Luther King's Birthday! Cage wanted to take a day off to celebrate, but tiny demon dude has gotten in the way of his plan, in a big way.



He explains what's going on to Vizh & Witch, with whom he and Iron Fist fought the tiny demon dude the first time. Quicksilver is visiting with his ho-- i mean, wife, and makes some random offensive comments about MLK jr. Day:



Now I have a few theories as to why this did not result in Quicky being batted halfway across the room:
A) It's not worth the effort, because no one listens to Pietro whine anyway.
B) It's best not to piss off Pietro's super-powerful, hormonal, pregnant sister, whose plate glass window he just crashed through, by starting a superpowered fight in her living room.
C) Cage realizes that it is only through actions, and not angry words, that the closed minds of the world will see the error of their ways. Also, Cage is a professional.
D) The writer did not realize Quicksilver was being such a racist ass. (He only thought Pietro was a little ass.)
or
E) All of the above.

Enough textual interpretations! Back to the fight!

Never you worry, Cage gets his... against the tiny demon dude at least. You see, only Cage's mad street smarts can get them through New York City after the demon put an illusion of an enchanted forest over it. Cage punch puny trees!



Luke also gets to deliver the moralistic ending monologue, and gets the last word on Pietro:


Note: I'm pretty sure Luke Cage wins FNF just by virtue of being Luke Cage.


I obey the word of Bahlactus.

Thursday Night Thinking (2)

Once again, Diamondrock invites us to ponder along with him...



I am an unabashed fan of Vision & Scarlet Witch, but even I have to recognize that they really know how to bring on the cheesy...

Out of Context Panel day!

Yeah, I know I skip out on posting actual content somtimes, so I thought I'd make it official once a week, and then (try to) have real content every other day. So, Wednesday is now officially Out Of Context day here at Lovers and Zombies!

Lets kick this thing off right:

My Eyes! Oh the horror!

The Return of Captain America

This image is a teaser for a new miniseries marvel's doing... Invaders/Avengers! It features the Invaders team being plucked from the midst of World War II to the present day where they will invariably fight the avengers before teaming up with them to fight a greater evil. Everyone will probably get all misty about this Cap being alive.

First, let us take a moment to appreciate the awesome of the inevitable Invaders vs. Avengers fight.

Now let us think about the repercussions of this new Cap. Wouldn't it be cool if this alternate history version of Steve Rogers was somehow trapped in the future, unable to return to his own time? Then that would be the return of Captain America without having his death become "meaningless" by a resurrection (although i don't necessarily agree with that, but anyway.) Not that time-traveling heroes is any less played out, but in this case it has many interesting connotations. The basis for Cap's popularity in the modern age is twofold. The first is his representation of truth and the best part of American values, like equality for all and respect for your fellow humans. He is the protector of the American dream, even when he stands just as a symbol.

The second reason for his popularity was his position as a man out of time. For a long time he was an outsider looking in on our culture, because the world he came from was so different. He was frozen in the mid 40s, and came out two decades later into an America that, while still being all the things that he represented, had a whole new set of issues going on, and whole new ideas about America and the world. Over time, however, Cap moved away from this, as he had been living in the modern world for a rather long time, he was no longer in a state of culture-shock. Sometimes it seems to be even forgotten by the writers or maybe the characters themselves that Steve really isn't as young as he seems.

If Invaders era Cap was stuck in the present, it would be as if he was thawed from the ice yesterday. I believe it would give the character a very good revamp, and provide a wealth of interesting and provoking stories. How better can you comment on politics and the world today than from the eyes of a true American patriot, and a member of, as they are called "The Greatest Generation." I can't remember on whose blog it was, I think perhaps Kalinara's (?) but there was a great point made that it is likely that Steve, growing up in working class New York City and being a young man at the time of the depression, would be quite horrified at the waste of today's society. Little things like that even make great character moments and help Cap stand out from the crowd of superhero books that can offer just as much face-punching, but not nearly as much social awareness.

Further, I think it would be awesome if the Falcon was to take Culture-shocked!Cap under his wing (please don't kill me!) It would be an appropriate reversal of their original roles, when Steve helped Sam get used to the whole superhero thing, and they started their partnership. Prolly won't happen though, cause Falc gets no love.

How to Treat a Woman (The Marvel Way) 2

Dear Hawkeye,

There's this girl I've been friends with for a long time, and I want to be more than friends, I just don't know how to approach her about it. Every time I try to bring up the subject, I just chicken out. What should I do?

Noobcake in MN

Gentle Reader,

Let ol' Hawkeye show you how it's done...

Tee hee, witch-brood

Lol-DC

*sniff* i miss the days of giant hairs!

No love for DC? not quite...

I just realized that I've yet to post anything DC comics related. This isn't surprising to me, considering the lack of enthusiasm I have for most of the DCU, but it's inexcusable given the incredible amounts of squee I hold for specific DC characters and books, especially considering what's going on with them at the moment.

First and foremost. OMG Black Canary! I was so saddened when Dinah left the Birds o' Prey, but getting her own mini before getting equal billing with Ollie on his title totally makes up for it. Also, am a huge sucker for superhero weddings. HUGE. Can't wait. Also for wedding planner special. Will rock, I am certain of it

Of course my first and purest love of the DCU is Barbara Gordon. Sigh, I am so gay for Babs... and Birds Of Prey is either my first or second favorite ongoing at the moment. (The other would have to be Runaways, and all the radness contained within) Gail Simone is my comics goddess, truly. I could gush for pages about all this, so I'll contain myself and just give a quick list of things that I love in the DCU.

• The now defunct (and mostly dead) Young Justice. Apparently membership in this totally awesome team is now a death mark, so RUN TIM RUN!
• *sniffles* I especially love Impulse... *sob*
• On the bright side, Piper & Trickster tethered together? instant highlarity!
• Big Barda. So badass.
• Harley Quinn! (renouncing her former criminal life? Pssht, yah right....)
• Manhunter, of which I am enamored although I have yet to actually sit down and read an actual storyline, due to my not actually owning any issues. Must remedy
• The whole damn Arrow family. Especially Mia. I love Mia.
• Almost every Bat-villian...
• Especially Scarecrow, whose voicing on Batman: TAS gave me nightmares as a child.
• And did I mention Harley Quinn?
• Cause she's badass too
• Nightwing. Cause he's hott, and if I can't be with Babs, he should!
• Because of Gail Simone, I now ship Catman/Huntress, despite being previously ambivalent towards any pairing involving Helena. Also, why is Catman superhott now? this is not sane! I should not be desiring effing CATMAN.
• "Your disappointment is a burden I will carry with me for as long as it takes me to finish this sentence." - Red Tornado being snarky in Young Justice. Love for Reddy
• "OUT OF MY WAY, SPERM BANK!"

Wow, that's a longer list than I originally thought I would have - given that it's just stuff off the top of my head...

Hehe, sperm bank.

Friday Night Fight! Part Three!

Because Bahlactus Commands it!

The Vision Vs....


And the Amoeba wins!
With it's amoebaey powers of... um, being single-celled. Yaaah.
To be perfectly honest. I can't remember for the life of me what issue of Avengers this panel comes from. It is, obviously, the best Avengers story ever written. Obviously

Comic Review: Fantastic Four 548

I said earlier that I would write a post about why I'm loving the Black Panther & Fantastic Four issues coming out right now in which T'challa and Ororo have joined Marvel's first family.

I lied.

I'm going to write multiple posts.

Cause it's just that awesome.

This post is about FF#548, and more specifically, how awesome Paul Pelletier is. He's the one currently doing pencils on the FF book, and they are amazing! How amazing?

He makes Hydroman look badass:
HYDROMAN.
Of course, we also get this look at hydroman...
That expression is priceless.

Also, his Ororo is fierce:
Speaking of 'Roro, I love the way her & Black Panther's relationship is being written (by Dwayne McDuffie, who is also teh awesome.) It's obvious that they're newlyweds, and there's some very awww moments between them, but for the most part they're as confident and understated about their relationship as they are naturally. I love that, I'd hate to see the characters changed by their relationship, especially if they were all gooey and mushy all the time. Not that I don't like mushy relationships, otherwise I wouldn't love Wanda & Vizh as much as I do, but for Storm and Black Panther it would be wildly out of character, and would justify all the people who said that their marriage was a cheap ploy for publicity and/or exploitative. (PS. I don't care if it was or not, but it works, so I love it!)

Finally, here's the Wizard looking scary while Reed's face melts:
That is some disturbing stuff there...

Need another reason the book is awesome? This panel:
Thoom indeed.

Now go read FF!

Quickie post... LOL!

This moment of Tigra torture brought to you by the West Coast Avengers, Defending Los Angeles since NO ONE CARES!

Xavin in City of Heroes

So City of Heroes free weekend just ended, which sadly is responsible for my blogging absenteeism.

Some friends of mine who play the game more than I do and I got into a conversation about which archetype and powerset available in City of Heroes various comic characters would be. We got very excited about what we came up with for the Runaways, so we decided to make them as avatars. (Yes, yes, I know you're not supposed to do that, I won't tell if you won't.)

It was a hard choice (being that all the characters are so freakin' awesome) but I decided to go with Xavin, Karolina's alien fiance/Super-Skrull-in-training. He looks like this:


And this:


but he actually looks like this:

Pictures from Runaways V2 #20

For anyone who doesn't know/care, Skrulls are a shapechanging alien race from the Marvel Universe. The whole boy/girl aspect of Xavin's character and his relationship with his/her bride-to-be is a story for another post. Also the pretty shiny one next to him is Karolina, again for the uninitiated.

I thought I would have it easy, as Xavin's the only Runaways character who actually wears superhero tights! And his clothes were very easy to replicate. Unfortunately it was his face that was the trouble. No, I wasn't trying to recreate the ribbed chin thing the skrulls have going for them, I was trying to make him in his "first" form, of a young African-American boy (That is, it's the first form he appears in, I suppose technically his Skrull form came first, but I'm doing the numbering here.) I should have remembered, especially from this essay that I read way back in the day (about a year ago), about (among other issues) the lack of African-American features in the character creation section. Since then there's been more choices added, but there's still very few options.



I'm gonna skip the hairdo issue, as the males in this game just have way to few hairstyles to choose from, especially compared to the women, and this one's not too bad. It's neutral and looks good for Xavin.

The big issue is with the face. The one I found works well, i guess. It appears to be the default African-American face. However, I had found another face that worked even better for Xavin: It looked youthful and the expression was more "I am so not amused by you." But when i tried it on him, it looked bizzare. The eyelids were colored in light, directly contrasting with his dark skin color and making it look like he was wearing frosted eyeshadow! WTH? I was very disappointed.


I'm sorry, I have to wait til I reactivate my account for a month (probably tomorrow) to post pictures of the AV i ended up with.

So here's Xavin getting his butt kicked! (From Young Avengers/Runaways #2)

An interesting 'racial' exchange with Xavin and Teddy, a character who is Half-Skrull himself

edit: to add pictures of the avatar I ended up with, and the face I'm talking about. Also, a picture of my friends and I with the characters we've made so far.

Xavin, Victor, and Nico in CoH form!

Friday Night Fight! Take Two!

Magneto smites the Wasp with a pen --

--because Bahlactus commands it!

And because I hate the Wasp.

Thursday Night Thinking

A cerebral prelude to Friday Night Fights, Diamondrock presents Thursday Night Thinking! Here's my contribution for the week!


Tony Stark thinks dirty thoughts.

Comic Review: Marvel Tarot (oneshot)

Truly this book is like a gift unto my very soul. The Marvel gods have smiled upon me, and they have created the Marvel Tarot Oneshot out of pure awesomeness.

The book is a tie-in to the wholly under-hyped Mystic Arcana mini, which features the sorcerer Ian McNee's attempt to save all the magic in the universe by collecting the four "cornerstones of creation": The Sword of Bone, the Ebon Rose, the Serpent Crown, and the Dark Mirror. Each of these magical artifacts has a hero of the Marvel U. attached to it, (Magik, Black Knight, Scarlet Witch, and Nico Minoru, in order) and so each issue of the mini is also a small backup story about said hero. When this was announced, I literally jumped for joy, as my love for the Scarlet Witch is boundless, and I also squee for Nico and Dane.

Dr. Strange uses the First Tarot

The Marvel Tarot is supposedly a log written by McNee about the First Tarot, a magic artifact in the Marvel U that is "Linked through enchantments to every living thing on earth, the First Tarot chooses from amongst all those possibilities the single best representative for each card's Archetype." However, now, the deck, like magic, is broken, and this comic is Ian's record of how and possible explanations as to why.

In actuality, it is a collection of such awesome that I can hardly put it down. The second two pages are a "Catalogue of Correspondences" which is a list of "objects, beings, or concepts" and how they relate to each other, based around the four items and heroes mentioned before

Sister Grimm is associated with the mirror, fire, the suit of spades, the tarot suit of wands, etc.

Not only are normal mystic concepts included, but tons of marvel quartets are associated with each other. It's hypnotizing for someone like me, who has multiple books of lists which do just this thing. I'm still stuck staring at it. There are some puzzling choices though, for instance Nico is associated with Chaos while Wanda gets Hate, but for the most part they're really intriguing.

There's also the choices of which Marvel heroes appear on each tarot card. I was pleased to see Cloak and Dagger cast as "The Lovers", as they really embody the whole yin-yang aspect of the card. I'll try to update with a scan of that card later, as well as a "poster"of the Traversable Planes Ian apparently found at a head shop. It glows under black light.

The thing i was most excited about was the Priestess card, which is shared equally by three women; Agatha Harkness, Wanda Maximoff, and Ororo Munroe. Ian is just as puzzled by Storm's appearance as we are: "[Ashake's] present-day descendant [is], Ororo Munroe. Ms. Munroe (or Mrs. T'challa) must have great mystic potential, but she has not tapped it. Has clearly not needed to... Nevertheless the cards are desperately seeking their archetype..."
He also makes some good points on Agatha: "Agatha Harkness was the Priestess for a loooong time. Now I think she is dead. But I thought she was dead and then she wasn't dead, but actually she was. Aunt Agatha is confused. I am confused. The deck appears to be confused about her as well."
And here's what he has to say on the subject of our lovely Witchie: "Agatha was grooming Wanda Maximoff to replace her as the Priestess, but the Scarlet Witch went Red Queen mad and started shouting, "Off with their heads!" Where did it all go wrong? She wore the serpent crown for a time. Was it the old wyrm whispering in her ear that set her off? I am more inclined to think that "The Other" one was the cause. From the beginning he has groomed her to be the end. She is strong. There is still hope for her. The cards think so anyway."
There damn well better be hope for her!

Damn you internetssss! (Part I)

Unfortunately, my internet went out on Sunday, causing me to have a break in my posting schedule much earlier than I had thought! In addition, we discovered a lovely leak in our basement, and I had to spend my time scrubbing mold off of my childhood treasures, instead of trying to fix my computer. I believe this to be part of a greater conspiracy by the internet to keep me offline. Hence the title.

In any case, this meant the delay of my first post of "How to Treat a Woman (the Marvel Way)" a mostly hilarious and sometimes wrong collection of panels from comics where our favorite superheroes teach us how to treat a lady. Lets start this thing!


Naturally we start off with the paragon of brotherly love, Quicksilver. Damn, words fail me.

Lolpanther!

Spent some time today reading over the recent issues of Fantastic Four and Black Panther, especially the ones with the zombies and teleporting frogs. Pure genius on so many levels.

Too tired to write an actual opinion piece on it, so instead have a picture of Storm's soul getting licked by a panthergod

Friday Night Fight!

Bahlactus has spoken!

In the red corner... perennial unloved underdog and wife-beater: HANK PYM aka YELLOWJACKET!

In the blue corner... A NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL!

FIGHT!


Winner? the reader.

Panel taken from Avengers 217. A cookie goes to whoever guesses who the girl here is... no peeking!


Hee hee, participating in these things was totally one of the reasons I started a blog in the first place!

History of a comic geek

My intention was to start the blog with a brief history of how I came to be a comic geek, and what I like about comics, all that jazz, but laziness and distraction got in the way. Anywho, better a couple days late than never, and it's time for a trip down memory lane. Granted, it's quite a short trip. Especially considering that most comics bloggers have been fans since childhood, I'm quite the newcomer to the party, though I'm no less obsessive than those who preceded me.

I don't know what kept me from being a comics fan when I was young.
It certainly wasn't from lack of interest... I adored the batman cartoon, and also watched the x-men and spider man cartoons regularly. I also have a confession to make. I loved the Batman and Robin movie. Ack! now the internets shall shun me! But I refuse to be too ashamed of it, as Chris O'Donnell is super-hott, and therefore my mad crush on him can be responsible for my lack of good movie sense.
It also wasn't that I didn't have access to comics; my brother collected the Donald Duck comics, and got them from the same rack at our grocery store as held all the other normal comics.

For whatever reason, it wasn't until the second X-men movie that I actually bought my first real comic book. And thusly I almost stopped being a fan before I ever was one. Behold, my first, completely uninformed purchase of a single issue comic magazine!
New X-men 143.
Upon reading this comic I found myself confused and not at all intruigued by the series. There were only two characters i could at all recognize, and many others I had no idea who they were. (Later I would find out that no one knew who they were, they were just no-name fill in people, and no one really understood Phantomex anyway) Also, I had no idea what the plot was or what was going on. Need I make a list of where I went wrong? Well, the first bit is barely visible in the bottom right corner of the magazine there - I had picked up number two in a four issue arc. Of course I was confused... wait... scratch that, because upon going back later with a general idea of what was going on in the series, number one in that arc made little more sense to me. (That would be the issue with cyclops and wolverine in a hellfire bar being drunken fools.)

Anyway, even upon later re-reading, this comic is absolute crap, and so it is lucky for me that I also picked up two graphic novels at the same time. I picked up Authority: Transfer of Power upon the recommendation of an online friend, and on a whim i grabbed Essential X-Men Vol. 1, which is what I would say made me the comic fiend that I am today.

I'll be sure to do a review type thing of authority at a later date, so let me wax poetic about Essential X-Men for a while here. Vol. 1 covers the Uncanny series from the advent of the All-New All-Different team to the first Shadow King story. It's crammed with the very best of the X-Men stories, including the beginning of the Phoenix saga, the only good Savage Land story ever told, The Shi'ar, back when they were cool, a special guest appearance from Misty Knight and the Heroes for Hire, and the most ass-kickin' of opponents: Moses Magnum! So awesome, so very awesome. The stories are perfect examples of what made Claremont the X-Men writer, and the art is just solid all the way through -- look here for the definitive versions of Storm and Nightcrawler as drawn by the late, great, Dave Cockrum. Is so pretty! It does, however, remind me of the one drawback of the essential series, which is that the reprints are in black and white (which lead to my total confusion on the subject of telling Jean Grey and Lorna Dane apart.) I've heard tons of people rip on the Essentials for that, but honestly, I would never have picked it up with the costly price tag that a full-color edition would have cost, and you get a whole lot of story with all the issues they can cram into each of the essential books.

So there's my very start into the world of comics... thrilling, ain't it? Ahhhh, memories...

Beetle Bailey brings out the feminist in me

Damn, feminism already.

For the record, I am so not a feminist. Either that or I'm one of those bizarro-feminists who are all about being empowered by our EZ bake ovens and pole dancing. I love my comics and I love them girly! I reserve the right to buy every wedding special, every first kiss issue, every all-girl superteam, and every Marvel Ai ever published. I have the cover for the Black Canary wedding planner set as my computer background. For the record, I'm on the wait list for the Mary Jane comiquette that had everyone in a tizzy a while back. I'll probably wax poetic about that statue at a later date, but today is for outrage!

Today's outrage is not directed at comic books, but at comic strips - specifically today's Beetle Bailey:


For those of you unfamiliar with the strip, Beetle's about the wacky hi-jinx that ensue when a really lazy guy spends three decades in boot camp. The lady shown here in her negligee is Miss Buxley, the *ahem* buxom secretary of cranky ol' General Halftrack.

Honestly, you could write a women's studies term paper on the representation of female military personell as represented in this strip. But I really am so not feeling the term paper right now. Instead I'll just present you with some perplexing questions:

Why in the world is Buxley waiting for the repairman in black lacy panties? Is she planning to shoot a porno? Or is there some subtle implication that she's skivving off work so she can hang around in her skivvies? And what in the world does this punchline mean? Does it sound more than vaguely dirty to anyone else? Is the general telling us that he's both incontinent and unmanned? Why can't I come up with any plausible explanation for his statements that don't involve his old-man junk? Why must Beetle Bailey make me even THINK about old-man junk?

Ugh, why can't he just go back to hitting on his secretary and neglecting his wife?

for bonus points: discuss Buxley's inability to remember the word "radiator"

Lets kick off this bandwagon!

Alas, I have finally given into the urge to start my own comics blog, adding to the scores of others that infest this web space. Birthed by the need to share my obsessive ramblings with someone, anyone, who feels the same, I bring you Lovers and Zombies! The name comes from the title of Vision and the Scarlet Witch v2 #1, and accurately describes most of what my ramblings will be about. I'm a sucker for love stories, being the girly-girl that I am, and am also quite obsessed with those paragons of the horror world; ZOMBIES. I'm also a sucker for any story with Vision and/or Wanda in it, which means I have tons of time for blogging before either of them comes back to the Avengers, *sob*.
Oh dear, I have been overcome with emotions. Vision, could you sum up the theme of this blog in a single word for me?


... Couldn't have put it better myself.